


EPISODE SIX: "Don't Call Me That"

by gaypetersimmonds



Series: Skam Brighton: Season Four [7]
Category: Original Work, SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Jewish Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Non-Binary Character, Canon Trans Character, Episode 6, Skam Season 4, also for mentions of underage drinking/drug use/sex, and tw for discussion of mental illness past abuse and alcoholism in clip 4, in clip 2, it's not a skam season 4 unless you talk about mcdonalds a weird amount amirite theydies, me and skamnl holding hands the girl squad getting food poisoning, please read the note at the beginning of clip 6 for more details, squads squads squads, tw for mild panic attack and fainting in clip 3, tw for sexual assault and a lot of underage drinking in clip 6, tw for throwing up in clip one, tw for underage drinking and kids having insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds
Summary: Brianna Holland has shit sorted. Every part of her is neatly boxed off from the other, from her working class mother, annoyingly perfect step-family, and overwhelming pressure to ace her A-Levels, to her awesome best friends, expertly curated Instagram, and endless hours of drinking that result in random regrettable hook-ups.The ups stay up for all to see, and the downs are covered up. But the different parts of her life are starting to threaten to break down the walls that she’s spent years building up, and if secrets from any side come out, Brianna’s life would be over.As her past keeps coming back to haunt her, and the future gets bleaker every day, she’s going to fight harder than ever to show everyone how goddamn happy she is. Because she is happy. Right?FIRST CLIP: "Do I Look Okay?"
Series: Skam Brighton: Season Four [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1681366
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	1. CLIP ONE: "Do I Look Okay?"

**SATURDAY, MAY 9TH, 09:42**

INT. LIZ’S ROOM, LIZ’S HOUSE

_“Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridges_ plays as BRIANNA blinks herself awake, looking around to find herself lying on a duvet on the floor, wrapped up in it. When she looks to her left, she sees the feet of a sleeping bag, where, at BRIANNA’s feet, RORI’s sleeping head is. 

BRIANNA sits up to see another empty duvet to her right and looks around to see ESTHER and SANDY still sleeping on the bed, SANDY’s arm around ESTHER’s waist. BRIANNA smiles a little at them, rubbing her eyes.

She pushes her blanket off of herself, standing up and stretching her arms widely, yawning quietly. She shakes her body out, and then covers her mouth with her hand, her eyes wide - something is happening to her, and she has to get out quickly. She runs out of the door.

INT. HALLWAY

BRIANNA runs down the hallway, hand still on her mouth, and flings the door to the bathroom open.

INT. BATHROOM

BRIANNA runs in and kneels by the toilet. She holds on tightly to the toilet bowl as she throws up into it, her hair falling in the way of her face. She stops throwing up and sits up, breathing heavily and wipes her hair away from her face. She spits out some spittle and kneels back, running a hand through her hair. She looks down at it to see some vomit in it and grimaces, the song cutting out so we hear:

RORI [O.S.]  
Are you okay?

BRIANNA turns around to see RORI and laughs humourlessly.

BRIANNA  
Do I _look_ okay?

RORI shrugs as BRIANNA stands up and goes over to the sink, putting her dirty hair underneath the tap and rinsing it.

RORI  
You woke me up, so I wanted to see what happened.

BRIANNA looks over at her.

BRIANNA  
Only fun times here.

RORI laughs, genuinely, and BRIANNA joins in, turning the tap off and beginning to towel-dry her hair.

RORI  
But, like, are you okay?

BRIANNA shrugs, putting the towel back.

BRIANNA  
I’m gonna get some water, my mouth tastes like shit. Well. Vomit.

RORI chuckles and nods, stepping to the side as BRIANNA joins her in the hallway.

INT. HALLWAY

BRIANNA stands next to RORI, looking at her for a moment.

BRIANNA  
Do I look fucked up?

RORI looks her up and down, and then again, and then again. She smiles tightly at BRIANNA, who sighs, wiping her face down with her hand.

BRIANNA  
Thanks.

RORI  
Sorry. You don't look unfixable.

BRIANNA nods, breathing out a laugh and starts to walk away, when RORI clears her throat and BRIANNA turns around, her eyebrows raised.

RORI  
Is there anything I can do to help?

BRIANNA shakes her head.

BRIANNA  
It’s fine, Rori. Thanks.

RORI  
Okay, just checking.

BRIANNA nods, letting herself smile a little at her, and walks down the staircase, RORI watching after her.

INT. KITCHEN

BRIANNA walks in to see LIZ sitting on a kitchen island stool, eating a bowl of cereal. LIZ looks up at her and smiles, fresh-faced and still in her pyjamas.

LIZ  
Morning, Bree.

BRIANNA  
Morning. 

BRIANNA walks over to the sink - LIZ going back to her cereal - and takes a glass from the glass cabinet, filling it with water and taking a big drink from it.

BRIANNA  
Did you know your bathroom is as big as my house?

LIZ laughs a little.

LIZ  
It’s not _that_ big.

BRIANNA  
Okay, it’s bigger than every bedroom in my house combined.

LIZ  
Wow, two bedrooms, not that big.

BRIANNA flips her off, taking another sip as LIZ takes a bite of her cereal - plain Cornflakes. BRIANNA snorts.

BRIANNA  
Are you really eating Cornflakes?

LIZ looks up at her, brow furrowed.

LIZ  
Yeah? I’m eating them because I like them.

BRIANNA holds her hands up, surrendering.

BRIANNA  
I just think they’re the boringest, plainest things ever to be made, calm your tits. 

LIZ laughs a little, as BRIANNA looks around the kitchen - it’s nothing like her own, so shiny, so bright, so full of potential. BRIANNA takes another long sip of water.

LIZ  
Oh, don’t forget, be at Theo’s at eight for Jame’s surprise party tonight.

BRIANNA  
I-- I don’t know if I’ll go.

LIZ focuses on her, looking upset, which makes BRIANNA confused.

LIZ  
Oh, why not? Is something wrong?

BRIANNA realises that LIZ is upset because she cares about her. She feels weird, but quickly changes her expression, going for a humble smile.

BRIANNA  
I’m not feeling well.

LIZ  
Did something happen?

BRIANNA shakes her head, laughing a little.

BRIANNA  
I just threw up this morning.

LIZ wrinkles her nose.

LIZ  
Oh. 

BRIANNA  
Don't worry, it went in the toilet.

LIZ snorts, BRIANNA laughing along.

LIZ  
It was probably that fish last night, you got it from some random place.

BRIANNA nods again, taking another sip.

BRIANNA  
I don’t even know why I went there. 

LIZ shrugs, and then does jazz hands as she smiles, a joke prepared.

LIZ  
Fun, new experiences?

BRIANNA  
[deadpan] I’ve had food poisoning before.

LIZ laughs, and BRIANNA joins in. LIZ then pushes her cereal away and stands up, beginning to move around the kitchen.

LIZ  
Okay, I’m gonna put you on some toast, that always helps when you just threw up.

BRIANNA smiles - genuinely, but a little embarrassed to have to be taken care of.

BRIANNA  
Thanks, Lizzie.

LIZ tries to suppress her smile.

LIZ  
Don’t call me that.

BRIANNA laughs a little, winking.

BRIANNA  
You know you love me, baby.

LIZ fake-gags as she presses the lever down on the toaster.

LIZ  
Ew.

BRIANNA sticks her tongue out at her as she puts her glass in the sink, leaning against it as she lets out a breath, rubbing her temples for a moment.

LIZ  
Headache?   


BRIANNA  
Not really, just… I had a bad dream.

LIZ sits up on the counter next to her.

LIZ  
Oh, what happened?

BRIANNA shrugs.

BRIANNA  
I was in this, like, abandoned soft play place thing, but like, it was underground and filled with water? And I was swimming through it for hours and hours ‘cause something was chasing me, and all of you guys were there too, like, standing on dry land and… I don’t remember, like, crying or yelling or some shit.

LIZ looks at her, nodding.

LIZ  
That's weird. If my mum were here, she would have a field day with that, but I don’t know what the fuck that means other than it was scary.

They both laugh.

BRIANNA  
No offence, but it’s weird as fuck that your parents work here too.

LIZ  
I know, right?

BRIANNA  
Literally, your house is like the Barbie dreamhouse I always wanted as a kid.

LIZ laughs and points at herself.

LIZ  
So I’m Barbie?

BRIANNA  
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!

They both laugh, BRIANNA running a hand through her hair, fixing it, some water flecks flying off.


	2. CLIP TWO: "When You're Crabby, I'm Crabby"

**MONDAY, MAY 11TH, 02:12**

INT. BRIANNA’S ROOM, BRIANNA’S HOUSE

_“My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars” by Mitski_ plays as BRIANNA sits at her desk, which is completely covered in various fabrics, clothes, books and pens, and her phone is in her hand - we cut rapidly between all of them. She’s typing furiously on it, writing an essay, her eyes wide and exhausted, her hair in a half-down bun. 

As the next verse begins, cut to BRIANNA measuring some dark fabric with a bright yellow measuring tape, looking between it and a book filled with CAST MEMBERS’s names and measurements. She keeps looking between the two, and then takes a white pencil from behind her ear and makes two small marks on the fabric, taking a deep breath and measuring it again.

As the next verse begins, cut to BRIANNA skim-reading through a copy of “Measure For Measure”, flicking through it as quickly as she can. She quickly puts the book down on her lap, cover up, and begins to type on her phone again, wiping the sweat off of her forehead as she doesn’t bother to fix a typing mistake she made.

As the next verse begins, cut to BRIANNA lifting a bottle of beer from her floor and beginning to quickly drink from it, chugging the whole thing, before going back to quickly typing again, her mouth hanging open, breathing heavily.

As the next verse begins, cut to BRIANNA completing in a sketch of a landscape in her sketchbook, using a green pencil to add quick dashes of grass, not even thinking about it - she’s just letting her body do whatever it wants.

The music cuts out as there’s a knock at the door. BRIANNA drops her pencil, her eyes going wide - she’s clearly thinking “oh shit” - as she turns around to see ALISTAIR staring at her, looking just as half-awake as she does.

ALISTAIR  
[whispers] Hey.

BRIANNA  
[whispers] Al?

He leans against the door frame, rubbing his eyes as he nods.

ALISTAIR  
Yep.

BRIANNA  
Why are you still awake?

ALISTAIR  
Why are you?

BRIANNA  
Asked you first.

ALISTAIR  
Asked you second!

BRIANNA stares him down, and ALISTAIR tries to glare back. BRIANNA rolls her eyes at him, and ALISTAIR sighs.

ALISTAIR  
God damn your eye rolls, okay. I was doing homework--

BRIANNA puts her hand on her heart.

BRIANNA  
God bless the British schooling system.

ALISTAIR  
I know, right? And I was editing some footage I took at the auditions and the beginnings of rehearsals.

BRIANNA  
Why?

ALISTAIR smiles, a bit proud of himself.

ALISTAIR  
Special feature for the DVD.

BRIANNA snorts.

BRIANNA  
What, is it 2009?

ALISTAIR shrugs, smiling.

ALISTAIR  
I’m into vintage.

They both laugh a little, BRIANNA slowing down and looking back down at the fabrics on her desk as ALISTAIR looks around her room.

ALISTAIR  
Wait, Bree, is that beer?

BRIANNA looks at him, frozen.

BRIANNA  
No...?

ALISTAIR  
Have you been drinking? On a school night?

BRIANNA scoffs.

BRIANNA  
Okay, _Dad_ , I just needed it to stay awake.

ALISTAIR  
Should-- Do you want me to get Audrey?

BRIANNA  
No!

She laughs nervously, shaking her head quickly, ALISTAIR looking concerned.

BRIANNA  
Just, um, we're getting along really well nowadays, I don't want to stress her out over something that isn't that big of a deal.

ALISTAIR  
Okay. If you say so, but, you know... 

He awkwardly trails off, and then continues:

ALISTAIR  
Look, um, it’s half past three in the morning. You should be sleeping.

BRIANNA scoffs, tapping her fingers on the bright blue leggings.

BRIANNA  
Okay, hypocrite.

ALISTAIR  
I have insomnia.

BRIANNA turns and looks at him like “big deal”.

BRIANNA  
You also have school in the morning, genius.

ALISTAIR looks at her for a moment, and BRIANNA looks back, just as strong. Both of them are fighting to take care of the other. BRIANNA rolls her eyes again, and ALISTAIR sighs and speaks with his “serious voice”.

ALISTAIR  
Just try and go to sleep now. You can work again tomorrow.

BRIANNA laughs, humourlessly, running a hand through her hair to try and even it out - she just messes it up more.

BRIANNA  
I literally can't, I-- I have a million costumes to make, and I have my English project that’s worth, like, 15% of my grade this week, and I still have to do my art history homework shit and--

ALISTAIR  
I’ll help.

BRIANNA blinks at him, completely taken aback.

BRIANNA  
What?

ALISTAIR  
I’ll help. With the costumes, I mean, I can’t really do the other things for you, but this I can do!

BRIANNA laughs a little, half-scoffing.

BRIANNA  
I don’t need your help, Alistair.

ALISTAIR  
Why not?

BRIANNA can’t think of a reason, but she can’t say that, so she just scoff-laughs again, rubbing one of her eyes.

BRIANNA  
Have you been taking your meds?

ALISTAIR raises his eyebrows at her, looking down at her work.

ALISTAIR  
Have _you?_

All trace of a smile falls from BRIANNA’s face, she goes perfectly still. She opens her mouth for a second, and then closes it, coughing awkwardly, trying to cover everything up.

BRIANNA  
Go to sleep, dickhead.

ALISTAIR  
And you will too?

BRIANNA sighs.

BRIANNA  
[lying] Okay, fine, in a minute.

ALISTAIR rolls his eyes, BRIANNA rolls hers back at him.

ALISTAIR  
I know when you're lying, Bree. You're my sister. And I know you get crabby in the mornings--

BRIANNA  
I do not!

ALISTAIR  
Well, when you’re crabby, I’m crabby. So pretty please.

BRIANNA looks at him for a moment as he gazes at her with wide, pleading eyes. She sighs, laughing a little and nods.

BRIANNA  
You’re worse than the cat when he’s hungry.

ALISTAIR  
I know, right?

They both share a laugh, trailing off into a moment of silence. BRIANNA rubs her eyes, yawning - she definitely needs to sleep now.

ALISTAIR  
Night, sis.

BRIANNA  
Don’t call me “sis”.

ALISTAIR laughs to himself.

ALISTAIR  
But you are.

BRIANNA looks at him for a moment as he keeps laughing.

ALISTAIR  
Get it? ‘Cause-- ‘Cause you’re my sister and you’re cis in the gender way too…

His laughter trails off as he leans off of the doorway, BRIANNA unable to suppress her smile anymore.

ALISTAIR  
Oh, I’m sleep deprived, see you tomorrow!

BRIANNA rolls her eyes as he walks out of the room.

BRIANNA  
Good night.

The door closes and BRIANNA looks down at her books and fabrics and mess. She’s a little confused, her brow furrowed - like she doesn’t remember doing any of this. She looks at her hands, which are shaking slightly, and she puts them firmly onto her lap, clenching them into fists and then releasing them. She continues to do that, taking breaths in sync with it.

In - she closes her eyes - and out - she opens them.

In - she moves her shoulders up - and out - she brings them down.

She stops, fully opening her eyes and unclenching her fists, and stands up. She turns off her lamp light and walks over to her bed, sitting down on it. She looks over at CUSTARD, who is fast asleep in his bed, and sighs. 

She takes her socks off and throws them across the room before getting into her bed, carelessly throwing her blanket over herself and beginning to breath in her measures again - in and out, in and out.

Her eyes are wide open, so tired, but she can’t bring herself to sleep. She just keeps breathing - closing her eyes and opening her eyes, shoulders up, shoulders down, fists clenching and unclenching. She’s used to this - this is what she always does when she can’t sleep. 

She keeps breathing.


	3. CLIP THREE: "Do I Even Have A Choice?"

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 13TH, 08:57**

INT. HALLWAY, BACA

BRIANNA jogs quickly down the hallway, holding tightly onto the strap of her backpack as it slips off of her shoulder. She looks around the crowd and sees the GIRL SQUAD and ALISTAIR standing against the window. She stiffens, putting on a smile, and jogs over to them, hearing some of their conversation over the general hubbub as she does.

SANDY  
Seriously, I think if I have to see the word “muscle” another time, I’m going to explode.

LIZ  
[joking] Or your muscles are going to explode.

She laughs as SANDY nods.

SANDY  
Yeah. Yeah, they are, and then I’ll die and I’ll be happy.

ALISTAIR looks at SANDY sharply as BRIANNA reaches them.

ALISTAIR  
No, we do not use that language, okay? Not good for your mental health.

SANDY nods, smiling a bit.

SANDY  
Yeah, I know. Thanks, Al. Hey, Bree.

BRIANNA waves at them all as she gets noises of greetings in response.

BRIANNA  
I have slept approximately five hours in the past three days!

ALISTAIR looks at her, wide-eyed, but BRIANNA looks away, smiling at the laughter of the others.

ESTHER  
[equally as cheerful] What the fuck?

BRIANNA laughs and shrugs, the others joining in a bit - just what BRIANNA wanted.

LIZ  
Seriously, if I didn’t have coffee, I think I would be dead right now.

ESTHER  
Anyone would think the country would notice it’s killing its children!

BRIANNA scoff-laughs, rolling her eyes.

BRIANNA  
Physically they could, but emotionally, imagine the toll on poor them.

There’s a moment of laughter, all the attention on BRIANNA, who’s quite pleased with herself.

RORI  
Once exams are over, can we agree that we’re not going to do anything at all for a month?

SANDY  
Please, we’ll all be bored after a week or so.

There’s a consensus of “fair enough”, a moment of silence falling as BRIANNA rubs her eyes, lightly slapping herself on the cheeks as ESTHER groans.

ESTHER  
I have my drama thing today and it’s gonna be so bad. Like, what the fuck is “A Streetcar Named Desire”? 

RORI  
It’s a play.

ESTHER  
I know, I was just… 

RORI  
Oh, right, yeah, cool.

ESTHER  
Sorry, I just love being ableist.

RORI laughs, LIZ and SANDY joining in, BRIANNA nodding along, biting the skin off of her lip.

RORI  
[sarcastic] Thank you, you help my self-esteem so much.

ESTHER  
Oh, if I actually offended you--

RORI  
I’m just joking, it’s okay.

ESTHER nods, looking relieved.

ESTHER  
Good, I love you.

RORI  
I love you too.

SANDY raises her hand awkwardly, grinning.

SANDY  
I also love you both.

There’s a laugh and ESTHER puts her arm around SANDY, SANDY putting hers around ESTHER’s waist.

LIZ  
I also love all of you!

ALISTAIR  
Not to intrude, but I love y’all too.

ESTHER  
You’re not intruding, Al! It’s okay to have friends!

SANDY  
This is just like Friends the TV show.

LIZ  
How?

SANDY  
We’re friends!

BRIANNA looks at RORI, who smiles, comfortable. BRIANNA looks between the GIRL SQUAD - she wants to say it too, but she can’t bring herself to. She does want them to know she loves them, but she doesn’t want them to know that she loves, so she snorts, trying - and succeeding - to look disinterested.

BRIANNA  
Well, this emotional orgy is adorable.

They all laugh, RORI screwing her face up.

RORI  
Gross!

BRIANNA's smile falters as the bell rings, everyone beginning to go on their way.

ESTHER  
See you guys at break.

RORI  
Laters!

LIZ  
Bye.

SANDY  
Bye-bye!

ALISTAIR  
Au revior!

BRIANNA rolls her eyes at that, and ALISTAIR notices, flipping her off as he jogs away. BRIANNA rolls her eyes again, more fondly, and turns to the GIRL SQUAD, who are sorting their bags out.

BRIANNA  
See you later, ladies.

She winks and the four other girls walk away in different direction - ESTHER and LIZ in one, SANDY and RORI in another, all talking in their own little worlds. BRIANNA takes a breath, rubbing her face down with her hand, finally able to show how tired she is, and heads off in ALISTAIR’s direction.

BRIANNA keeps walking down the hallway, keeping tight to the wall, her hand trailing on the wall, keeping herself steady, but still keeping her head high - she’s BRIANNA HOLLAND, and she’s going to act like it.

INT. ENGLISH CLASSROOM

BRIANNA walks in to the classroom, which is fairly crowded, and goes to her seat at the back of the class. As she sits down, she lets out a breath, hanging her head back to look up at the ceiling. She looks back down and takes a copy of “Measure for Measure” out of her backpack and flicks to the middle of it, not reading it, just looking down at it.

She looks up for a moment, making sure that if anyone’s looking at her, they see that she’s busy, happily reading, not completely on her own. 

The ENGLISH TEACHER walks in, setting her handbag and coat behind her desk as BRIANNA keeps continuing to “read”. The TEACHER claps her hands and BRIANNA looks up, putting her book down face up.

  
  


ENGLISH TEACHER  
Good morning, class. So, we're gonna start giving our presentations today, who wants to go first?

BRIANNA slides down in her seat as no one puts their hand up. The ENGLISH TEACHER rolls her eyes.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Surprise, surprise… 

She looks around the room and makes eye contact with BRIANNA, who quickly looks away.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Brianna!

BRIANNA winces, bracing herself as she makes eye contact with the TEACHER.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Would you like to go first?

BRIANNA raises her eyebrows.

BRIANNA  
Do I even have a choice?

The TEACHER smiles, sitting down.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Nope, now get up here.

BRIANNA nods, her mouth turning into a straight line as she pushes herself out of her seat, keeping herself standing by holding onto the side of the desk. She takes a deep breath as she walks to the front of the room, clenching and unclenching her hands.

As she reaches the front of the classroom, the ENGLISH TEACHER looks at her expectantly.

  
  


ENGLISH TEACHER  
Where’s your USB?

BRIANNA  
Oh, sh-- Sugar. I don’t know where it is, so…

The ENGLISH TEACHER looks at her for a moment, BRIANNA trying to smile charmingly, but she doesn’t convince her.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
So go find it, please.

BRIANNA laughs nervously, starting to breathe faster.

BRIANNA  
I-- I don’t know where it is, I just--

ENGLISH TEACHER  
You’ll do it on Friday, but I’ll remember this when giving you your grade, Brianna.

BRIANNA looks at the other students, who are whispering to each other, and back at the TEACHER. BRIANNA’s still laughing nervously, beginning to hyperventilate.

BRIANNA  
[trying to speak quietly and failing] No, Miss, you-- You don’t understand, I-- I worked really hard and I-- Miss, I can’t afford to lose any marks, I-- I need a scholarship to go to uni, and--

The ENGLISH TEACHER stands up and looks around, moving closer to BRIANNA to speak quietly to her as she keeps hyperventilating.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Brianna, maybe you should just go sit down, okay? You don’t sound very well, and we can talk about this after class.

BRIANNA shakes her head, moving away from her.

BRIANNA  
No, no! Miss, I can’t-- You don’t understand, okay? I-- I just-- This is not something you need to know.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Okay, okay, but I think you should--

BRIANNA  
You don’t know what I should do, _I_ know what I should do, stop telling me what to do!

The whole class is watching now, some with their phones out filming it, as the TEACHER’s eyes go a bit wide as she nods, trying to look as sympathetic as she can.

ENGLISH TEACHER  
Has something happened to you?

BRIANNA  
No, I-- Nothing’s ever happened to me, I--

She clutches her head, swaying slightly from side to side.

BRIANNA  
Shit, I… 

She stumbles backwards, the camera stumbling with her, everything beginning to blur. She tries to hold onto the wall, but she falls onto her side, fainting, and the screen goes black.


	4. CLIP FOUR: "I Did Something Stupid"

**WEDNESDAY, MAY 13TH, 10:27**

INT. NURSE’S OFFICE

The screen blurs into focus as we see BRIANNA lying on a sickbed, blinking awake, NURSE STENBERG sitting at their desk on the other side of the room. BRIANNA rubs her eyes, pushing herself to sit up, making the bed squeak and NURSE STENBERG turn around.

NURSE STENBERG  
Brianna?

BRIANNA stretches her shoulders.

BRIANNA  
What… What happened?

NURSE STENBERG  
You fainted, and might be a bit concussed. You were also a bit sick. 

BRIANNA nods, leaning back on the bed. 

BRIANNA  
Brilliant start to the day.

She breathes out a laugh as NURSE STENBERG nods, smiling politely.

NURSE STENBERG  
Is it okay if I ask a few questions?

BRIANNA definitely doesn’t want this, but she knows she can’t say no.

BRIANNA  
Um, yeah, sure.

NURSE STENBERG  
What did you have for breakfast?

BRIANNA looks up for a moment, trying to remember.

BRIANNA  
Tea and toast. 

NURSE STENBERG nods.

NURSE STENBERG  
Okay, when did you go to sleep last night?

BRIANNA looks down, trying to think of the best thing to say to get out of there as soon as possible.

BRIANNA  
Just, like, normal time…?

NURSE STENBERG starts to laugh, BRIANNA looking slightly confused.

NURSE STENBERG  
Normal time is my favourite time of day!

Their laughter slowly fades out and they sigh.

NURSE STENBERG  
Seriously though, what time?

BRIANNA shrugs, looking down again.

BRIANNA  
Like, four-ish.

NURSE STENBERG inhales sharply, their eyes going wide.

NURSE STENBERG  
Yikes, that’s not good. What were you up doing?

BRIANNA  
Work and shit. Stuff, sorry.

NURSE STENBERG  
No, I’m a cool nurse, you can swear.

BRIANNA laughs a little and nods.

BRIANNA  
Okay…

NURSE STENBERG  
Um, have you been feeling sick lately or anything?

BRIANNA nods again.

BRIANNA  
Um, I’ve thrown up a couple of mornings this week. I ate some fish from this place I’ve never been before, so I think it was just food poisoning.

NURSE STENBERG nods, laughing a little.

NURSE STENBERG  
Stick to what you know is good. I was once out of work for two weeks because of some dodgy oysters.

BRIANNA  
Ew.

NURSE STENBERG laughs again as BRIANNA looks around, a little nervous.

BRIANNA  
Um, I also haven’t had my period in like, two months.

NURSE STENBERG’s eyes go wide, a lot more serious.

NURSE STENBERG  
Do you normally skip cycles or…?

BRIANNA shakes her head, looking down and pulling her knees up to her chest.

BRIANNA  
No, just… It’s probably stress, right?

NURSE STENBERG awkwardly laughs.

NURSE STENBERG  
Could be…

BRIANNA looks up at them, scared.

BRIANNA  
I just… There’s no way, right?

NURSE STENBERG shrugs, trying to make everything okay, but BRIANNA knows the way her world is - something always go wrong - but she doesn’t want to think about it.

NURSE STENBERG  
I don’t know. Have-- Have you had any unprotected, uh, relations lately?

BRIANNA laughs, humourlessly, like she’s trying not to cry.

BRIANNA  
I don’t know. I-- I could have… I don’t usually remember much of the "relations" I have.

BRIANNA looks down again, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. NURSE STENBERG wheels their chair closer to her, not touching her, but close enough to hear her shaky breathing.

NURSE STENBERG  
Brianna, are you okay?

BRIANNA shrugs, half-laughing, half-on-the-verge-of-tears.

BRIANNA  
It’s… I know I did something stupid, okay? I didn’t mean to, I do stupid things all the time, that’s what my mum says, but… 

She looks up at NURSE STENBERG, eyes watering.

BRIANNA  
I went off my meds. Maybe-- Maybe that has something to do with it, right?

NURSE STENBERG takes a breath, trying to take all of this in.

NURSE STENBERG  
What medication were you taking?

BRIANNA takes a breath and looks over at them, like a little kid afraid to tell their parent something bad they did.

BRIANNA  
Lithium. For bipolar disorder.

NURSE STENBERG  
Okay… Do you still have the meds at your house, or--

BRIANNA  
Yeah. I do.

NURSE STENBERG  
Do you have a therapist you see regularly?

BRIANNA  
No. None at all.

NURSE STENBERG nods, folding their hands and looking down at them as BRIANNA rubs her nose.

NURSE STENBERG  
Okay, I think you should start taking them again.

BRIANNA rolls her eyes, the tears beginning to fall as she laughs a little.

BRIANNA  
Wow, genius idea.

NURSE STENBERG raises their eyebrows at BRIANNA, who nods, breathing out as she looks down.

BRIANNA  
Sorry, sorry, yeah… 

NURSE STENBERG  
Why’d you do it?

BRIANNA looks at them incredulously, her mouth open, offended.

BRIANNA  
 _Excuse me?_

NURSE STENBERG shrugs, looking down awkwardly.

NURSE STENBERG  
You’re under no pressure to answer, but… I mean, you have to talk about it with someone, and there are really long lists for therapists, and I'm under a non-disclosure agreement unless it's something life-threatening, so… Just do or say whatever you want.

BRIANNA  
I… I don’t…

She shrugs, considering what she should do. As she lets out a quiet sob, she can’t stop the words from coming out.

BRIANNA  
I just… I thought I was doing fine, you know? Haven’t had a major episode in a while, just the regular ups and downs, and… I don’t know. I thought maybe I was… cured, I guess. I just wanted to be normal, like my friends, but… I mean, my friends aren’t normal, and they don’t care. They’re happy about it and-- And I know I should be happy for them, but… I feel so bad whenever they’re happy about their autism or mental illnesses or whatever. Not-- Not happy, just… Not ashamed. It's-- It feels like it's different for me. Because their stuff is all... normal. Not normal, not not normal, but... People aren't scared of anxiety or autism or eating disorders. Yeah, they can affect a person terribly, but... You don't see people making horror movies about stuff like that. You don't see murderers on soaps get swept away with "oh, they're bipolar". It's like... People only see it as a joke or some big evil monster. But, my friends... They don’t care if people hate them for having stuff going on.

NURSE STENBERG  
And… You care?

BRIANNA shrugs.

BRIANNA  
I don’t… I don’t know. I just feel like, no matter what I do, I’m always being whatever other people want me to be. You know, a good friend, a funny friend, someone to kiss, someone to do whatever for them, and-- And I do it, because… I don’t want people to not like me.

NURSE STENBERG  
Why?

BRIANNA  
Everyone wants people to like them.

NURSE STENBERG  
Okay, um, let me put this a different way. Why do you care what other people think of you?

BRIANNA blows out a laugh.

BRIANNA  
I don’t.

NURSE STENBERG  
You do.

BRIANNA  
No, I don’t.

NURSE STENBERG  
If you did, why didn’t you tell anyone about how you feel?

BRIANNA  
Because…

BRIANNA shrugs, screwing her face up.

BRIANNA  
I don’t know. When-- When my friends talk about how they feel and, like, are going through it and being open about it, I don’t feel bad. I mean, I do, I feel bad for them, but like… I don’t know. If I talk about it when we're all being serious, I'd feel like I was taking the attention away from them and was making everything about me, but if I talk about it when we're all jokey and I ask to get serious, I'd feel like I was ruining the fun and, you know, making everything about me, but when they do it... I just want to help.

She looks up earnestly and then shrugs again, rubbing her eyes.

BRIANNA  
I don't know. I’m different than them, I told you.

NURSE STENBERG  
How?

BRIANNA  
I just... I have to keep it together, you know? Make sure everyone's happy.

NURSE STENBERG  
But why, though?

BRIANNA sighs.

BRIANNA  
Okay, fuck it, I care what other people think. So what? Everyone does. Don’t tell me you walk around not thinking “oh, I hope they like me” or “oh, I want them to think I’m cool”.

NURSE STENBERG  
Oh, I do.

BRIANNA looks them in the eyes.

BRIANNA  
So you’re a hypocrite.

NURSE STENBERG  
No, I'm a human being. I care about what people think. I get insecure, I put other people before myself. Brianna, I promise, I've felt everything you're feeling right now. You're not alone in all of this, but you can't let these feelings control you.

BRIANNA laughs a little, humourless, looking down.

BRIANNA  
I don’t… Okay, maybe I do. I’m a teenage girl, so what?

NURSE STENBERG  
You’re a teenage girl, but you’re still human. Humans have to feel, Brianna. It’s okay to be human.

BRIANNA shakes her head, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

BRIANNA  
I… Fuck, I was sick at my friend’s house the other morning and I felt so bad for it. Not ‘cause I threw up in her toilet, but ‘cause my friends saw me be all sick and weak and… They were trying to take care of me. I don’t need people to take care of me, I-- I’ve been spending so long trying to try and be independent and happy, and they’re so nice, but I feel so bad whenever they look at me with all this pity and stuff. 'Cause... I remember when I was a little girl and my dad used to get sick. Throwing up all the time, my mum holding his head back and comforting him, and-- And he would say all of these awful things and my mum would always put me to bed so I couldn't hear it, but she always looked at him with so much pity, and... I don't want to be the person people only keep around out of pity.

NURSE STENBERG nods, and BRIANNA goes on.

BRIANNA  
And, um, I used to go to this support group thing. At my old school, I… I was bullied a lot. Like, I was obviously poor and I was in the process of getting diagnosed, so I was going through it, and… And, um, I made some friends there, who were going through it as much as I was, and we were all so sad and it was all we talked about, and it felt like I was just in this hole with all of them with no way out and... And, um... Anyways, I went to this support group, and the guy who ran it talked to us like we were kids. Like, using all of these cheesy quotes and dumb gold stars to trick us into getting better… Like-- Like, it was such bullshit.

NURSE STENBERG  
You were kids.

BRIANNA scoffs.

BRIANNA  
I was fourteen. That’s not a kid.

NURSE STENBERG  
Legally, it is.

BRIANNA  
I was doing a _lot_ of things at fourteen. Younger, even.

NURSE STENBERG  
Like what?

BRIANNA  
You wouldn’t want to know.

NURSE STENBERG  
Brianna, when was the last time you talked to someone about this?   
  


BRIANNA shrugs.

BRIANNA  
I don’t know. Probably when I was asking my mum if I could move schools. I… I got an STI, and I didn’t know, so I accidentally started spreading it, and… I mean, things were pretty bad before that, but shit really hit the fan then. My step-brother… He was at the school with me, and he never said anything. He just… stood there. So I left and I don’t talk about any bad things that happened, because if I don’t, then they didn’t happen. They happened to Brianna Smith, not Brianna Holland.

NURSE STENBERG  
Is Holland not your real last name?

BRIANNA

It’s my mum’s maiden name. She changed it when she left my dad, and then I changed it because... Well, she's my only real parent.

NURSE STENBERG nods as BRIANNA breathes deeply, closing her eyes for a moment.

NURSE STENBERG  
Look, um, I think you should go and talk to your mum about all of this when school is over. But, right now, I don’t think you’re well enough to go back to class, so you can chill here for a bit. Go on your phone or whatever, listen to some music. Stuff that makes you feel calm.

BRIANNA takes in a breath, finally remembering the thing she was so worried about only an hour ago.

BRIANNA  
But what about my presentation?

NURSE STENBERG  
You can talk to your teacher about it later, okay?

BRIANNA nods, running a hand through her hair, just focusing on breathing.

NURSE STENBERG  
If you want, I could go get you a glass of water.

BRIANNA nods again, and NURSE STENBERG smiles at her awkwardly, standing up and leaving.

BRIANNA sighs the second the door closes, rubbing her face down with her hands. She takes her phone out of her front pocket and turns it on - seeing many notifications from the GIRL SQUAD asking if she’s okay, saying that they heard she fainted in class, is she alright, does she need their help?

BRIANNA smiles at it and clicks on the messages, opening the groupchat. She sends a “hey” and begins to type out a new message - “sorry, i just wasn’t feeling well” - when she’s bombarded with texts from RORI: “BREE HI ARE YOU OKAY”; LIZ: “BRIANNA, WHAT HAPPENED?”; SANDY; “BREE!!!”; and ESTHER: “did you die?”.

BRIANNA laughs a little and types out: “no, not yet. I guess i was just sleep deprived so i passed out lmao.” 

SANDY sends: "oh my god are you hurt???" and BRIANNA responds: "just my pride lmao." and LIZ sends: "It's okay, people aren't talking shit about you, they're just like 'what was that?', you know?".

BRIANNA sighs a little, relieved, as RORI sends back: “Is there anything we can do??? Do you want us to come visit???". ESTHER sends: "we could bring you food, they're doing sausage rolls in the canteen today".

SANDY sends: "Oh nice!!!!!" and BRIANNA lets out a breath, maybe a laugh, maybe a cry, wiping her eyes again.

She types out: "nah, i'm just gonna go back to class in a bit. i'll tell yall my Drama at lunch <3."

She gets a lot of heart emojis from the GIRL SQUAD as she turns her phone off, putting it in her pocket and letting out a breath.

She looks down at her stomach and puts her hand on it, trying to feel anything at all. She moves her hand up to her heat, trying to slow it down as she closes her eyes tightly, trying to avoid looking at anything. She can't cry, she can't speak, she can't even let herself think about anything. She just breathes in and out, in and out, terrified and alone.


	5. CLIP FIVE: "Still Have Plenty Of Time To Fix Whatever That Was"

**THURSDAY, MAY 14TH, 16:39**

EXT. SALLIS BENNEY THEATRE

The GIRL SQUAD walk out of the theatre, all looking quite frazzled - especially BRIANNA. Her hair is messily pulled back and she looks exhausted, her makeup barely hiding how pale she is.

ESTHER  
That was… the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

BRIANNA nods in agreement, not turning to look at any of the GIRLS, just looking ahead, dead-eyed.

SANDY  
I didn’t know people could sound like that… 

LIZ  
Come on, we still have plenty of time to fix… whatever that was.

RORI  
I mean, it was more about the dancing today anyways.

The BOY SQUAD walk out of the theatre, stopping their conversation as they see the GIRLS, all of them exchanging greetings - except for BRIANNA, who just nods, putting on as much of a smile as she can, which isn’t a lot.

ALISTAIR  
Hola, ladies, how we doing?

NICK leans over and kisses RORI, BRIANNA looking at them for a moment, a longing to both kiss RORI and be as carefree as they look.

ESTHER  
Just vibing.

LIZ  
Talking about your terrible dancing.

ALISTAIR fake-gasps, hand on his chest, as ANNABELL and DEAN walk out of the theatre, BRIANNA looking over at them. ANNABELL smiles and waves awkwardly, and BRIANNA raises a hand back, finding it hard to force her body to do anything else.

ALISTAIR  
Elizabeth!

LIZ  
Not you, never you.

She looks at the rest of the BOY SQUAD.

LIZ  
You.

There’s a laugh all around, except for BRIANNA, who just opens her mouth a little, no one noticing her not laughing.

THEO  
Thanks, Liz.

LIZ  
You’re welcome.

JAKE raises his hand, BRIANNA quietly rolling her eyes.

JAKE  
[sarcastic] I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean, I’m obviously the best dancer there ever was.

JAMES hits his arm.

JAMES  
[sarcastic] Jacob, come on, it’s obviously me.

SANDY  
Fellas, please, you’re both terrible.

JAKE  
You can talk.

SANDY flips him off.

ALISTAIR  
Well, we-- We have a lot of time, yeah?

ESTHER  
Yeah. This won’t be like the time I directed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in Germany and the Charlie I cast started getting really panicked at a rehearsal and just laid down on the ground and shoved his hand down his trousers.

BRIANNA’s eyes go wide.

NICK  
Honestly, same.

RORI  
How old was he?

ESTHER  
Like, eleven. He didn’t, like, jerk off or anything, but it was weird.

They all laugh, making small comments to one another, and BRIANNA just breathes, not really there at all.

NICK  
Honestly, he was right. Hey, do you guys wanna go to, like, McDonald’s or something?

RORI  
We have homework, Nick.

NICK whines, throwing his head back, making most of them laugh.

NICK  
Fuck homework, come on.

JAMES  
Yeah, fuck homework!

NICK and JAMES high five.

JAKE  
Bad decision, but okay!

THEO  
Why do I always have to be the impulse control?

JAMES and NICK look at him with puppy dog eyes, the others laughing.

THEO  
Jesus, fine.

RORI  
But homework, guys… 

LIZ  
Come on, there’s plenty of time to do it some other time. We all deserve to have a break.

ESTHER  
I mean…

SANDY holds her hand, squeezing it, BRIANNA looking at their hands for a second too long.

SANDY  
Things are stressful, Es, come on.

ESTHER sighs, smiling.

ESTHER  
Okay, fuck it, we’ll all die.

SANDY cheers, laughing, as RORI turns to BRIANNA.

RORI  
You good to go, Bree?

BRIANNA’s hand instinctively reaches to her right pocket, where her wallet is poking out, but she just awkwardly laughs, shaking her head.

BRIANNA  
Nah, I’ve got my presentation thing tomorrow, so…

JAMES  
It’s just Mickey D’s, Bree.

BRIANNA shakes her head quickly, wrinkling her nose.

BRIANNA  
Yeah, I-- I don’t feel well, I should probably go home, so… 

NICK  
Aw, come on, Bree, stay.

RORI hits his arm, making him look at her with a confused smile on his face as BRIANNA scoffs, trying to play her annoyance off as a joke.

BRIANNA  
Okay, if you want me to be sick on your shoes.

ALISTAIR clears his throat, getting the attention.

ALISTAIR  
Just leave it, guys. She doesn’t feel well.

ALISTAIR looks at BRIANNA, giving her a small smile, and BRIANNA rolls her eyes, putting her hands in her pockets.

BRIANNA  
Yeah. Whatever.

The others start to exchange looks and whispers, all a bit worried as she turns, starting to walk off.

LIZ [O.S.]  
Is she okay?

JAMES [O.S.]  
I don’t know, should we do something?

BRIANNA closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, calming herself down, reminding herself not to get angry.

RORI [O.S.]  
I’ll text her later.

BRIANNA doesn’t turn around but waves at them anyway, “ _Unprodigal Daughter” by Alanis Morissette_ starting to play as she starts to walk a bit faster, hunching her shoulders, making herself smaller as she turns a corner, not seeing MILO and JOSH come out, JOSH staring after her.

EXT. STREET

BRIANNA walks down the street, quickly as she can, in the opposite direction of the rest of the crowd. She bumps into someone and smiles apologetically, quickly getting on her way, pulling her jacket tighter over her shoulders.

INT. BOOTS

BRIANNA walks into the shop, looking left and right as she does - she doesn’t see anyone she knows and she breathes out a sigh of relief. There’s hardly anyone there, it’s just another normal afternoon. BRIANNA takes in a breath - this isn't normal for her, nothing about this is normal for her, but she keeps going on.

She walks down the various aisles, scanning past lipsticks and sun-creams and plasters, all boring, all basic, perfectly normal. She skims over them, not really paying attention, until she reaches the aisle full of baby food and nappies.

She stops still in her tracks, staring at them, her mouth falling slightly open. For a moment she can see her future, and she can’t breathe. She clenches her fists - in - and unclenches them - out. She’s trying to convince herself everything’s okay, forcing herself to smile her usual smile, but it looks so pained, like she’s about to cry.

The song cuts out as someone taps her shoulder. 

BRIANNA turns to see a GIRL a few years older than her with a pram and an awkward smile.

GIRL  
Sorry, love, can I get past?

BRIANNA nods, laughing awkwardly.

BRIANNA  
Oh, yeah, sorry.

GIRL  
Thank you.

BRIANNA smiles and moves out of the way, walking out of the aisle and down another - one that’s full of pills and medicines and devoid of people. She walks slowly down the aisle, looking left and right, searching and searching until she stops.

She looks at the pregnancy tests, all lined up in a blue and pink row. She gazes up at the prices - £14, £30, £50 - her eyes growing wider and wider. Her hand instinctively reaches to her wallet in her pocket, suddenly a lot more scared, but then she sees the last ones on the row - cheap looking, own-brand tests.

She breathes out a sigh of relief and grabs the tests, 5 in a pack for £5. She take a deep breath, looking down at the condoms and lube, and then shakes her head, beginning to speed-walk through the shop, heading straight for the empty checkout, where a MAN of about 20 sits.

BRIANNA puts the pregnancy tests on the counter and the MAN looks her in the eyes. BRIANNA looks right back, sticking her chin out.

BRIANNA  
What?

MAN  
Is… that all?

BRIANNA holds her head up higher, her best bitch stance.

BRIANNA  
Yep. Problem?

MAN  
No, no, just… Okay.

He rings the tests up, BRIANNA looking around awkwardly for a moment as she waits.

MAN  
Uh, that’ll be £4.99, please.

BRIANNA nods, pulling out her wallet and opening it to show only a five pound note. She hands it to him and quickly closes her wallet, putting it back in her pocket. The MAN puts the money in the register and hands her a penny wrapped in a receipt.

MAN  
There you go.

BRIANNA nods, smiling tightly, and quickly walks back through the shop, shoving the tests quickly into her pocket as she keeps breathing, in and out, walking out of the shop, the doors sliding closed behind her.


	6. CLIP SIX: "Stop"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, this clip contains some depiction of sexual assault (a bit more graphic than in canon skam), so if you feel that would trigger you in any way, i recommend stopping reading when you reach the song "you are going to hate this" by the frights. stay safe everyone <3.

**FRIDAY, MAY 15TH, 19:00**

INT. FRONT HALL, BRIANNA’S HOUSE

BRIANNA walks in through the front door, her school bag hanging off of her shoulder. She closes the door behind herself, letting out a deep sigh as she lets all expression leave her face.

AUDREY [O.S.]  
Is that you, Brianna?

She stiffens, putting on a forced smile that can be heard in her voice.

BRIANNA  
[half-yells] Yeah.

Footsteps begin to come from the living room and BRIANNA heads towards the stairs, turning to lean on the banister as AUDREY comes into the hall.

AUDREY  
How you doing, pet?

BRIANNA shrugs, her mouth a straight line.

BRIANNA  
Fine.

BRIANNA remembers to smile as AUDREY looks at her face for a long moment, BRIANNA looking down.

AUDREY  
Are you sure?

BRIANNA  
I’m just really tired, Mum. School stuff.

BRIANNA lets out a breathy laugh, awkward, and AUDREY nods, knowing something’s wrong, but not wanting to push it.

AUDREY  
Alright.

There’s a second of an awkward pause, AUDREY getting ready to say something else, but BRIANNA interrupts her.

BRIANNA  
I’m gonna go do some homework.

AUDREY’s brow furrows.

AUDREY  
Oh, dinner will be ready in a bit.

BRIANNA shrugs, glancing briefly over to the stairs.

BRIANNA  
I already ate, sorry.

AUDREY  
Oh. Okay.

BRIANNA turns and starts to head up the stairs, trying to look as busy as she can.

BRIANNA  
Thanks, Mum, bye.

INT. LANDING

BRIANNA walks up onto the landing and looks over to the bedroom doors - there’s a faint muttering coming from ALISTAIR’s room, which BRIANNA chooses to ignore as she coughs, opening the door to the bathroom and quickly slipping into it.

INT. BATHROOM

BRIANNA walks into the bathroom and silently closes the door behind herself, locking the door. She turns around, taking slow, deep breaths and pulls the pack of pregnancy tests out of her pocket. She looks down at them and reads the back of the box - telling her that she has to pee on the stick(s) and that she’ll get the results in 5 minutes.

She lets out a sigh and sits down on the toilet, pulling down her skirt and pants. She opens the box, taking out all five tests and holding them in her left hand. She leans up to hover over the tests and closes her eyes, a trickling sound beginning for a good five seconds.

As it finishes, BRIANNA opens her eyes and sits still for a moment. She lets out a breath and moves her left hand away, setting the tests on the rim of the sink. She takes her phone out of her bag and sets a timer for five minutes. She hits start on it and then opens Youtube, searching up “funny cats”. She selects the first available video and begins to watch it, her face completely expressionless as cat after cat falls over, the owners laughing and laughing, all of them blurring together as BRIANNA staring blankly. 

Her phone buzzes, saying the timer’s up, and BRIANNA stops the video. She stares down at her phone screen, saying 00:00. Time’s up. She breathes in and out through her mouth, shakily, her hair falling in the way of her face. She turns her phone off, closing the cover over and letting it fall to the floor. 

She looks over to the sink. Everything will change if she goes over there, and she knows she can’t not do it, but she stays where she is right now. She takes a breath in, and a breath out, her hands clasped in front of her. She closes her eyes, concentrating hard on what she’s thinking.

BRIANNA  
[mutters] Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and-- And forgive our trespasses and we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

She opens her eyes, looking over at the sink again.

BRIANNA  
Amen.

She slowly stands up, her hands shaking as she pulls her pants and skirt back up, smoothing it down. She keeps breathing in and out, resting her hands on her stomach for a moment. She looks up and walks over to the sink, looking down at the rim.

She inhales sharply, her bottom lip trembling as she blinks quickly.

All of the tests are positive.

BRIANNA stares down at them for a long moment, and then grabs them all, shoving them deep into the bottom of her school bag, swallowing the lump in her throat as she picks it up and tries to open the door. It’s still locked, so she unlocks it and steps out, _“Oh No!” by MARINA_ starting to play.

INT. BRIANNA’S ROOM

BRIANNA’s sitting at her desk, a small mirror in front of her face as she applies copious amounts of mascara to her eyes, accidentally smudging it and not bothering to fix it. She rolls her eyes at herself and begins to smudge it on purpose, spreading it all around her eyes, adding more and more onto her eyelashes.

She stands up and walks over to her wardrobe, putting on a dark red lipstick perfectly as she does. She looks at a photograph taped onto her wardrobe door - a picture of BRIANNA at about 13, next to ANNABELL and DEAN. She’s wearing a red dress that comes to her knees, and the BRIANNA of now stands up a little straighter, putting the lipstick on top of a book. She opens the wardrobe and pulls said dress out.

She takes her top and skirt off, kicking her shoes off at the same time. She pulls the dress on, up over her stomach and chest. It’s a bit too small and more than a bit too tight. In the picture, the dress is far too big for a 13-year-old, but on her now, it’s far too small for a 17-year-old. She looks down at herself - she’s never been able to get timing right.

She pulls the fabric out from her stomach, looking at the space between the fabric and her skin. She lets go of the fabric and it snaps back into place, back onto her reasonably flat stomach. She lets out a breath and picks her lipstick up, putting another layer on as she looks back into the mirror on the desk.

She smiles at herself, wide and bright and completely fake. She lets it fall, nodding to herself - perfect.

INT. FRONT HALL

The song stops as BRIANNA tiptoes down the stairs, now with shoes on and a bag in hand, ready for a night out. A stair creeks and she inhales, wincing, as the living room door opens, PATRICK stepping out to see BRIANNA on the stairs - she didn’t expect to see him.

PATRICK  
Where are you going?

BRIANNA’s brow furrows.

BRIANNA  
What?

PATRICK takes a moment, used to having to explain himself, but not annoyed about it.

PATRICK  
I’m not mad, I’m just wondering. Where’re you going?

BRIANNA stares him down.

BRIANNA  
Out. With friends.

PATRICK stares back at her, BRIANNA keeping her head up.

PATRICK  
Okay. Does your mother know?

BRIANNA  
She will now, so… Yeah. 

PATRICK looks at her like “give me a break”, and BRIANNA walks past him, her mouth a straight line as she looks back at him.

BRIANNA  
Bye.

She opens the door and steps out.

EXT. STREET

BRIANNA walks down the street and takes her phone out of her small bag, opening the messages from the GIRL SQUAD.

She sends: "hey is anyone free rn???", not looking up while she walks - she knows exactly where she's going. RORI sends: "Sorry B, homework."; ESTHER sends: "sorry same"; SANDY sends: "yeah, me too." and LIZ sends: "I'm helping Mary with hers, she's very stressed.". BRIANNA deflates, actually letting her disappointment show.

SANDY sends: "are you okay?" and BRIANNA perks up, putting on a smile as some kids run past her. She sends: "yeah, just bored lmao".

She turns her phone off and puts it back in her bag, _"Bubblegum Bitch" by MARINA_ starting to play as she walks faster down the road.

INT. CLUB

As the singing begins, we see BRIANNA in the middle of the dance floor, dancing with a clearly alcoholic drink in her hand, several GUYS dancing near her, all trying to get her attention, but she just keeps drinking, her eyes closed to the rest of the world.

She finishes her drink, looking down sadly into her empty cup, and looks over at a GUY nearby, smiling at him. She raises the glass to him, and he nods, getting the idea, going over to the bar as BRIANNA continues dancing, swaying from side to side with her arms in the air, trying to look as carefree as she can, but it’s hard without a drink.

The song cuts out, changing to generic electronic music as BRIANNA stands at the bar, a group of PEOPLE next to her talking loudly as a tray of shots is set in front of them. BRIANNA grins, grateful to see them, and grabs one, downing it immediately and wincing loudly, the GUY next to her grabbing onto her shoulder.

GUY  
Are you okay?

BRIANNA nods, laughing and shaking herself out as a hand appears on her shoulder.

JOSH  
Hey, can you get off, mate?

The GUY steps back, holding his hands up in defence as he turns back to his friends, BRIANNA turning to JOSH, stumbling a bit away from him, clearly already drunk.

BRIANNA  
What are you doing here?

JOSH shrugs, leaning on the bar.

JOSH  
Drinking my sorrows away.

JOSH stares at her for a long time, waiting for her to say something. She knows she has to, so she sighs and relents.

BRIANNA  
Why?

JOSH  
Well, it’s my birthday, and my aunts, who I’m living with, forgot and so did their son, and I have literally no friends who actually care about me, so I’m just gonna be completely alone forever and ever.

BRIANNA nods, not really caring but having to listen anyway.

JOSH  
And, just, my job’s shit and school is shit, but I’m graduating in, like, a month anyway, so it doesn’t matter and I’m just gonna get a well-paying, boring job in the city and _die_.

BRIANNA snorts, not really laughing.

BRIANNA  
Nice to see people keeping it positive.

JOSH laughs humourlessly.

JOSH  
Yeah, I’m a beacon of light.

BRIANNA nods, looking out into the crowd, looking for a place to get away, but JOSH taps her arm, getting her attention.

JOSH  
Do you want a drink?

BRIANNA folds her arms, stumbling to lean on the bar, acting more drunk than she is.

BRIANNA  
Why?

JOSH sighs, running a hand through his hair.

JOSH  
Look, I-- I’m sorry for what I did. I’m going through a lot right now, you know, job, school, family, blah blah blah, and I just took it out on you. So, I’m sorry. I was a dick.

He holds his hand out to be shaken.

JOSH  
So you’ll let me buy you a drink?

BRIANNA looks him up and down, trying to figure out the safest thing to do, but JOSH laughs before she can do anything.

JOSH  
Come on, turn the other cheek, Catholic.

BRIANNA laughs, trying to cover up her nerves as JOSH smiles, holding his hand out over the bar.

JOSH  
‘Scuse me? [yells] _‘Scuse me?_

The BARTENDER rolls her eyes, BRIANNA stepping back from JOSH as she does, pretending not to be with him as the BARTENDER comes over to them.

JOSH  
Hi, can I get a whiskey on the rocks and a screwdriver for the lady?

The BARTENDER looks at BRIANNA, who smiles awkwardly, waving, as the BARTENDER nods and walks away. JOSH turns to BRIANNA, and raises his eyebrows.

JOSH  
She did not like me.

BRIANNA  
Mm, shocker.

JOSH laughs, shocked and a bit offended, but BRIANNA smiles anyway - she made someone laugh, she’s doing a good job.

Cut to later as _“You Are Going to Hate This” by The Frights_ starts to play as we see JOSH and BRIANNA laughing in the middle of the dance floor, BRIANNA with her arms around JOSH’s shoulders, talking inaudibly as he nods, listening intently. It doesn’t matter what she’s saying, all that matters to her is that he’s listening.

Cut to black for a moment, and then return, the GROUP OF PEOPLE from before are now dancing with BRIANNA and JOSH, BRIANNA jumping up and down as she watches two GIRLS hold each other’s hands and do a very fast slow dance together, happy in their own little world. BRIANNA wants it, but JOSH grabs her shoulder and turns her to face him, saying something BRIANNA doesn’t give a shit about, but she nods anyway, accepting the drink he's handing her.

Cut to black for a moment, and then return, JOSH spinning BRIANNA around and around as she laughs, her head thrown back. He stops spinning her, holding her in by the waist and moves her hair out of her face. He leans in and kisses her, and BRIANNA thinks about it for a moment and then kisses him back.

Cut to black for a moment, and then return, BRIANNA is in front of JOSH, him holding her close to his chest with his hands on her hips, BRIANNA letting her head fall back onto his shoulder and looking at the ceiling, at the lights dashing across it, almost like stars, but a lot more like something fake. It’s not as magical as BRIANNA once remembered it to be, but it’s all she has, so she puts on a smile, pushing yet another thought away from her brain as another drink gets pushed into her hand.

Cut to black.

EXT. CLUB

The song cuts out as we return to BRIANNA and JOSH coming out of the club, BRIANNA stumbling, tripping over her own shoes, her eyes half-closed and JOSH keeping her upright. The camera is hand-held and shaky, barely able to stand upright - much like BRIANNA.

JOSH  
Whoa, whoa, can you stand?

BRIANNA  
[very drunk] Yes, obviously.

BRIANNA stumbles into his shoulder and JOSH laughs, helping her lean against a wall, her back pressed against it.

BRIANNA  
Okay, I’m fine, thank you.

JOSH  
You’re welcome.

BRIANNA rolls her eyes and looks up at the sky, blinking and rubbing her eyes.

BRIANNA  
Okay, I should go home now, it’s like… in the morning.

JOSH laughs.

JOSH  
It’s not even midnight yet, princess, it’s okay.

BRIANNA stiffens up.

BRIANNA  
Don’t call me that.

JOSH looks confused, still laughing.

JOSH  
Why?

BRIANNA  
My dad used to call me that, it’s weird.

JOSH laughs, nodding, and then leans in, beginning to kiss her. BRIANNA’s eyes are still open as she stares ahead, out at the pub across the road, where some people are drinking and smoking outside. She’s bored and tired, her eyes are beginning to close again, but then she opens then, suddenly aware of what's going on.

BRIANNA starts to push JOSH’s chest away from her, breaking the kiss as he looks confused and she laughs nervously.

BRIANNA  
Okay, can, um-- Can-- Can we stop?

JOSH  
What?

BRIANNA  
Can we--

JOSH kisses her again, holding her arms down by her side, but BRIANNA shakes free, pulling away from him.

BRIANNA  
Josh--

He kisses her again, and gets pushed away. He groans as BRIANNA starts to fall, pushing herself up against the wall.

JOSH  
Come on, it isn’t fair.

BRIANNA tries to put on a smile, trying to make the situation less real.

BRIANNA  
[slurring] I’m tired.

JOSH  
You don’t look tired.

BRIANNA  
I am.

JOSH looks into her eyes, pleadingly, but she stays still, her eyes blurring closed again. He kisses her again, as she slumps down, getting pushed up against the wall, _“Seventeen” by Sharon Van Etten_ beginning to play as BRIANNA tries to push back again, but JOSH pushes her back, pinning both of her wrists next to her head as he starts to kiss down her neck, BRIANNA looking straight ahead, her eyes welling up with tears again.

BRIANNA  
[choked up] Uh, can--

JOSH shushes her, muffled against her neck, as he lets her wrists go, quickly putting an arm around her waist as he pulls her off of the wall. BRIANNA’s gone limp, losing whatever control she had left over her body. She looks around, and sees her bag lying on the ground a few feet away from her. Too far.

JOSH wipes her eyes, smiling, as an OLD COUPLE walk past, smiling politely at them as JOSH reaches down and takes BRIANNA's bag, holding it under his arm as he wraps his other one around her waist again, keeping her locked onto him as she looks down at her feet, unable to get them to work anymore.

JOSH  
Let’s go home, eh?

BRIANNA doesn’t nod or shake her head, she just stares at him. Not a BRIANNA HOLLAND glare-stare, a plead. He looks away, walking her up the street as her eyes begin to fade, half-open, half-closed, her breathing heavy and terrified.

_CUT TO CREDITS AS THE SONG CONTINUES_

_CUT TO BLACK_


End file.
